DerristhinoSavior

Now I've been hiatus for 4 weeks. I was planning to get back 3 weeks ago but then business call!!

I got to take care of that, this, there, bla bla bla bla.

Now I'm really feel irresponsible for my certain responsibility here.

There was a great thing when I were at hiatus mode. Once again I've become inspiration for 'that' community. I don't even realize it until I check 'it' again. I feel so honored, but the feeling is not as great as certain someone I know here.

Akkkh, I'm  really sorry, I'm sure there probably people trying to ask me a 'question'.





===Other Topic===

Remember my previous Journal about Pleasure vs Productivity? You know what? I lost to the devil whisper.... That's just a pity -_-

From remorse, turn into....... nah I don't want to talk about it.

But the die has been casted. I just hope everyone will learn from their mistakes.





And now downloading certain underrated stuff and go pay Andrew's website a visit and see if I can get inspired again by him.

I'm not trying to be an attention whore but I just had to let it out.


Recently, I've been doing a LOTS LOTS LOTS horrible thing...

First of all, I've disappointed my friend, he asked me to finish certain stuff immediately. But I failed to do that job.

And now I have pissed off someone mainly because my disability to pay attention and memorize properly even though it was sent directly. My ADHD is really have made myself like a moron. Yes, as a ADHD carrier, I tends to 'seemingly' pay attention but in fact I don't listen at all. Although I tried my best to understand but I failed to do so.

I guess my friends was right, I am clumsy and indecisive with my action and words. Then I've just annoy that 'certain someone' with rather sarcastic word. I treated that person as if I manipulated them. I'm sure that person probably sees me as a bad guy now after those word I said to them. To tell the truth, I said that because I'm trying to avoid that person like a coward.

I did that cowardly action because I'm in a loss of word Plus I was in the bad mood as well. I wasn't act like myself when I said those.

Still, that doesn't change the fact that I have annoyed that person. I don't really enjoy insulting that person with those word. In fact, my heart is burning with remorse and guilt with every sarcasm word I typed.

I just sensitive toward negative energy, and this is not my first time. When I know I have hurted somebody, I can sense their unpleasant aura emitted at me which giving me weird uncomfortable shiver and fever for some reason.

Well, I doubt that person will ever forgive me. I'm just that horrible person who doesn't understand other's feeling at times. Also I don't have a courage to tell this in front of that person. Like I said, I'm such a coward.


To punish myself, Once its over. I'm not going to do 'that thing' EVER AGAIN. Because I know I would carelessly vex somebody. I will just resume to what I can do best. Perhaps 'that thing' is not my expertise. It is too much for me. I'm too soon and inexperienced to involve myself at such of thing. -_-

I've been noticing certain someone behavior. He seems so nice and respectable. But when I tried to approach him especially when I'm offering some help or asking him some type of question, he ignored me, and I'm not the only one who gets ignored by him. Several people too suffers my fate.. Either me and those people are trying to offer him a help, not because we wanted something from him(Although he has many ass-kissers trying to extract stuff from him), we're just being helpful. I won't tell who's this guy is.

His behavior has been getting on my nerves lately, its awkwardly annoying!!

I.... have a burning DESIRE to rant about him some more!!

For months, I've been put up with his constant ignorance! And with every single ignorance, he become increasingly more annoying and dumb!

I've had with this ... I've learnt my lesson, I'm not going to offer him a help anymore! Because he refuse to improve himself.

Anyway, bellow this, is a dialogue that describes his ignorance(I'm not going to tell EXACTLY the actual dialogue is) :

Him : I need help!! Can someone do 'this' for me?

Me : It seems you were asking this about xx months ago. So have some one helped you yet? if no, then I can do that for you.

Him : *ignores*

Other helpful guy : What kind of help? Tell me the detail!

Him : *ignores*

Random Ass-Kisser : AWESOME!!! *Judges based on the 'look' 'he' shown and neither trying to help*

Him : Thank you

Random Ass-Kisser : No problem!


He was asking help but when help is coming, he ignored them. It seems he REALLY enjoy to get sucked by his Ass-Kissers than getting help from a generous persons. was right when he told me that it is his loss to reject people's help. I'm glad I didn't help him, because I would feel the loss if trying to help a guy who rejects help. He's the one who felt the loss anyway, not me. I swear.... shall one day I show him a stuff that he CAN'T do that made him got mesmerized and wanted to ask me for help, I won't give it!! Since he don't need it by the time when me and those other people are trying to help him.

I could have respect him, but his constant ignorance just building up my disrespect toward him. If only he able to at least say something like "Sorry, but its already done!" or any kind of convincing updates, I wouldn't rant about him like this. Yet, he can be friendly at times. But that if I compliment him, giving a common questions, and other stuff that he likes to reply.

Speaking of ignorance, even some of his ass-kissers are ignorant. Whatever it is, their ignorance is similar to those ignorant who comments Youtube video without reading and watch the content about the video or any deep truth behind it.



There... I'm done ranting!!

I got my Handphone back, can online again, got a new computer, now all that left are the business profit issue, computer internet access, certain depression and stress, interview result, and some new art tools.

Hopefully, I get back into art mode.... It's been long time since I last posted art -_-